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January 3rd, 2004

Well I was supposed to write about how positive I feel and how NYE was not the horror it usually is, but then I got suckered into completing this music questionnaire thingy. Needless to say it is very subjective and reflects my current nostalgia fest. Since we got burgled in Feb and the thieving cunts stole all my CDs I have been strangely bewildered by record shops and have mainly bought classical, ancient, renaissance or 60/70/80s stuff. And classic country and Western

1. Makes you want to dance: "Beautiful" by Matt Deary, “Professional Widow” by Tori Amos, anything on Tidy Trax or any compilation with the word “Trance” in the title. (Minusbat once told me he didn't want to take E because he was worried about the side effects.. When I enmquired which side effects he meant he said "having a shit record collection". He's got a point, I know). But if pogoing counts as dancing: “51st State” by New Model Army, “Should I stay or Should I go” by the Clash and sundry other late 70s to late 90s punk/indy/goth/Britpop stuff. As I am not Anglo Saxon I can actually dance to just about anything. BUT not RNB, Garage, Rap and Bashment as I cannot dance with my hands over my ears…
2. Makes you smile: "Swords of a Thousand Men" Tenpole Tudor, “Vicar in a Tutu” by the Smiths
3. You love singing along with: "Hanging on the Telephone" by Blondie, “Jolene” by Dolly Parton, “King of the Road” by Johnny cash, “Cool for Cats” by Squeeze, “Mad World” by Gary Jules
4. You love driving to: “Violet” by Hole, “Good Vibrations” by the Beach Boys, “Perfect Drug” by NIN “Totally Addicted to Bass” by Puretone
5. Gives you goosebumps: "I know it’s over" by the Smiths, “Llorando” by Rebekah del Rio (from the Mulholland Drive soundtrack – it’s an acoustic version of the old Roy Orbison track “crying” sung in Spanish) “Song to the Siren” by the Cocteau Twins
6. Makes you feel like a kid again: “Do you wanna be in my gang” by Gary Glitter (that is definitely feel like a kid, not feel a kid) , “Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep” by Middle of the Road
7. Makes you feel powerful: “In some witch’s bed” by Belly, “Casta Diva” by Mari Callas. “I lie Stretched on Your Grave” by Sinead O Connor.
8. You feel guilty for liking: "All the things she said" by Tatu – they may not be real lesbians, but they would be if I got my hands on them.
9. You would love to be serenaded with: "Reel around the Fountain" by The Smiths – one day someone really will want me to slap them on the patio.
10. Scares you: Gareth Gates singing Thuspithious Mindth.
11. You are SO sick of hearing: Middle aged, middle class, white tossers wanking on about how “rap is the new poetry” when in fact most rap is tedious, repetitive, misogynistic, homophobic, reductive, macho, posturing, nihilistic bullshit. If you had to teach young black men who care more about Tupac Shakur’s past than they do about their own futures you would probably feel the same.
12. You will never get tired of hearing: "Spem in Alium" by Thomas Tallis.
13. Screams "YOUR OWN PERSONAL JUNIOR HIGH HORROR": "Brown Girl in the Ring" by Boney M – not a bad skipping song, but no fun when you are the closest thing to a small brown girl in a small Essex town and a bunch of speedfreak skinhead fuckwits are chasing you through the estate screaming it at you. Funny though, when you they finally catch you and you tell them who your brothers are… and they get very scared and decide to buy you an ice cream and piggy-back you home to make up for their unfortunate “mistake”.
14. You would play when you are depressed: "Golden Brown" or “Strange Little Girl” by the Stranglers. “Moon River” by Henry Mancini. “Days” by Kirsty Mcoll. "Secret Name" by Low
15. You actually sat down and purposely memorized the words to: "Fulsome Prison Blues" by Johnny Cash. Somewhere in a parallel universe I am the toast of Nashville.

I will reread this tomorrow and be horrified by the omissions/errors. I'm beginning to feel like some semi-autistic muso head. By your record collection you will be judged... but then noone reads this thing anyway apart from Minusbat, Tigger and Northern Bint. Definitely time for bed.



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