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July 14th, 2004

"We have since become an extraordinarily confessing society. Confession has spread its effects far and wide: in the judicial system, in medicine, in pedagogy, in familial relations, in amorous relationships, in everyday life and in the most solemn rituals; crimes are confessed, sins are confessed, thoughts and desires are confessed, one's past and one's dreams are confessed, one's childhood is confessed; one's diseases and problems are confessed;..." (Michet Foucault)

It has to be admitted that I am pretty blind drunk, having forgone alcohol for the best part of a year and sunk two bottles of wine tonight. But hell, I'm more lucid drunk than most folks are sober.

I have been horribly struck by the realisation tonight that I find it EASIER TO TALK TO MY LJ THAN TO REAL PEOPLE. This is despite the fact that my lj friends list is primarily composed of people I talk to in real life. Ho hum.

Thus yesterday I was able to relay the fact via lj that I was very upset with something, which Ithem played down when I spoke to my flatmate about it on the phone, to the extent that someone I have never met realised that I was distressed and proffered thoughtful comnets and good advice on the situation (ah, why are wise, sensitive and intelligent men ALWAYS gay?) and the person I live with didn't realise it was a big deal because I was relatively nonchalant about it.

Weird. And to think I berated my flatmate for his insensitivity. Why should I expect hinm to read my blog to know how I feel?

I am sure I have a vital point to make. And when I sober up I might even make it.


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