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August 18th, 2004

Convulsing with Van Helsing

Gavalu, my six and half feet flatmate, soulmate, giraffe and mum is back home from holiday with his boyf in Thailand. I now have a lovely cerise heavy silk kimono, an ornate antique brass hand, a curious carved soap in a lacquer box, dried chillies, dvds, a tiny buddha to perch on my iMac and 1000 cigarettes (plus an intriguing box which was smuggled away and which I think may contain part of my birthday present). And the flat feels like home again...

The DVDS are bootlegs - most are still on at the cinema, and they seem to work. We just watched Van Helsing which was truly terrifying. Not only because Kate Beckinsale was two-dimensional apart from the tits which seemed to be growing out of her collarbone, but because the talentless twat playing Dracula bore a truly supernatural resemblance to my ex of some years ago, Leon (aka Leon the Loser). So much so that it made me shudder repeatedly. And the character was so like him - bad hair, attitude problem, morbidly self-obsessed goth who pretends to be a vampire. If at any point in the movie he had whined 'fuck me with a strap-on and treat me like your bitch' the resemblance would have been total.

That has to be the first vampire movie I've watched where I haven't fancied any of the characters. Let's hope the Passion of the Christ has a higher totty count.

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rosamicula
Rosamicula

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