Last night I continued my policy of getting rid of the extraneous stuff in my life by using up a variety of cosmetic odds and sods in my nightly ablutions. I squeezed out the last of a tube of expensive handcream and slathered it all over my feet and hands just before I went to bed.
This morning I woke up and realised it wasn't handcream. It was fake tan and my hands were working a really convincing H Block protest graffiti artist look. It took three different exfoliant products and half a bottle of Mr Muscle kitchen spray to get rid of it.