Dangerously Experimental & Deeply Fragrant Blueberry and Apple Ring
225g caster sugar
tsp vanilla essence
75g plain flour
60g instant coconut cream powder
35g self-raising flour
3 small coxes or other sharp apples
I wish I still had some blueberry liqueur or pommeau
The instant coconut cream powder is a very, very silky-smooth form of not-too-dessicated coconut. I use a brand called Santan that you get in big silver packets in chinatown. Its flavour is quite delicate so I am hoping it will compliment, rather than compete with the vanilla. I have no idea how it will bake, but I am anticipating it will be like a smoother, lighter, more scented version of ground almonds. The apples need to be tangy or the cake will be too sweet.
Preheat oven to 200. Butter a big baba dish. I'm cooking it in this because it is quite a wet mixture so I would anticipate a soggy middle in a round or square tin, and also because I like to see the purple blotches up the sides. It looks like someone has covered your cake in lovebites.
Cream the butter, sugar and vanilla essence together till light and very fluffy. Add the eggs one by one and beat well. Then add the flours and coconut powder in the order shown above, as this will be easier and because you should always add self-raising flour last as the raising agents begin to work as soon as they get wet. Then stir in the fruit. Don't scrape around the sides of the bowl too much, though. Dollop it carefully into the baba dish, pressing the mixture into the 'corners'. Then use a spatula to get the last of the fruit-free mixture off the sides of the bowl and polyfilla that over the top. This should give you a nice smooth bottom to turn it out onto.
I cooked it for half an hour at 200, then turned it down to 150 for the last fifteen minutes. It should be pleasantly resistant when pressed. Knife-testing is pointless in a cake with squidgy fruit in. It was a bit difficult to remove from the silicone mould and seems very moist, almost puddingy, but it smells astonishingly good. If I make it again I will add only two apples and cook it in the smooth baba, not the fancy fluted one.
Spicy Seville Orange and Bitter Chocolate Cake
150g self-raising flour
75g full fat marge
4 heaped tablespoons of Rosa's Fearsome Multitasking Seville orange marmalade
zest of a lemon and about 2 tsp of its juice
large glug of whiskey or brandy
Preheat oven. The margarine called
Cream the butter, sugar and lemon zest till fairly fluffy. Add the eggs which you should beat first with the lemon juice. Add the cocoa and the flour and then stir in the marmalade and the booze. Pour into a big round cake tin (I always use the floppy space-age ones as they are foolproof-ish) and cook for about forty mins or until it passes the knife test. It's got a rich, truffly texture and very deeply orangey flavour.
Rosa's Fearsome Multitasking Seville Orange Marmalade
1kg Seville Oranges
about a 3rd of a big pack of Splenda sweetener
One scotch bonnet pepper
one bottle of Tesco value Scotch or similar brand
Halve the oranges and scrape out their innards. Squeeze about an inch of the juice into a blender, add the deseeded chili pepper and blend till smooth. Roughly chop the peel. Only Quislings like marmalade with finely shredded peel and only people with no life have time to shred finely. Squelch all the rest of the juice into a pan, add the sugar and the 'whiskey'. Any old down and out gutrot will do as it's going to get boiled up to buggery anyway. I just can't put water in recipes; it smacks of poverty and failure and it doesn't taste of anything and we should be conserving it anyway. Reserve the innards and pips, and put them in a muslin bag in the pan as you need them to yield up their pectin. Add everything else and boil till it looks like marmalade. If it looks too thick, add more Scotch, if it looks too thin just keep simmering. Before it gets really thick, decant half into a bowl.
I just cannot be faffed with jars and wax discs and all that fake olde worlde codswallop. It needs keeping in the fridge in any case, so I just keep it in tupperware pots, with excess in the freezer. The decanted, runnier half should be whizzed in a blender. It then has the perfect consistency to be smeared as a glaze over pork, gammon or lamb joints without the chunks getting cremated or it can be used as normal marmalade if you are unlikely enough to be entertaining a Quisling. The thicker, chunkier version is fine for smaller cuts, such as duck breasts, which cook much more quickly. It isn't drastically hot when used as a glaze, but packs a kick when added to yoghurt or on toast.